some habits die hard
by TheScriptLady27
Summary: au. spanna one-shot. spencer has a small talk with her daughter.


**A/N: I**** really don't know where I was going with this, it just wouldn't leave me alone. This is my first shot at Spanna and possibly the only one.**

* * *

Spencer opened the door and was about to say her classical "honey, I'm home" line, when she realized that everything was quiet. The lights were out and her favorite people in the planet were nowhere to be seen.

She set her bag on the small table they had near the entrance and began walking inside her darkened loft. The TV was off. How odd. She shrugged out of her coat and tossed it on the back of the couch and went upstairs.

Spencer was surprised when she saw light beneath her older daughter's door but her own door seemed to be in darkness. She knocked once and didn't hear anything, so she entered cautiously, expecting not to interrupt.

She walked towards the bed and found a sleeping form in it. Spencer moved closer and she was able to her the music blasting from the headphones. _Some habits die hard_, she thought, while a smile formed in the corners of her mouth. With soft hands, she reached out to remove the headphones and pause the iPod playing P!nk's 'Trouble' at max volume.

When she turned around to leave to pay her daughter a visit, she heard her name being called.

"Is that you?"

"Were you expecting a hot date I wasn't aware of?" Spencer couldn't help the slight sarcastic remark. She heard the bed shuffle and then she felt a soft hand in her shoulder.

"It's hard to get hot dates when you are a married woman," Hanna responded turning Spencer around so she could kiss her.

Spencer accepted the kiss and wrapped her arms around her wife's waist and smiled. "Did I wake you up?"

"No."

"Why is everything so quiet? I mean, I know it's late, but it's Friday. Naturally, you and the girls would be doing something or waiting for me," Spencer asked, leaning back, able to see Hanna better. And even in the darkness she could see her wife's face fall.

"Yeah, well, Alex was a bit upset."

"How come?"

Hanna sighed and looked down. "I don't know. She wouldn't tell me. Maybe you could talk to her. She seems to have a better relationship with you."

Spencer frowned. "She loves you."

"I know. But she trusts you more," Hanna declared and Spencer had to flinch.

Hanna untangled herself from Spencer and walked towards the bed again. "Just talk to her, Spencer. Please."

Spencer nodded in the dark and watched how her wife climbed in bed again and looked blindly for her iPod.

* * *

Spencer found herself at her older daughter's door, Alex, knocking, expecting to be heard over the loud music playing. _Some habits die hard_, she thought, but this time, there was no smile. "Alex, open the door," and she was sure that she was heard.

The music stopped and Spencer could hear heavy footsteps. The door opened to the sight of her daughter with blood shot eyes. Spencer's worries shot to the sky and she pushed her way inside Alex's room.

Alex closed the door and when she turned, she collapsed in Spencer's arms.

Spencer dragged them to the bed and sat whispering sweet things in her daughter's ear, rubbing her back and rocking them back and forth.

When Alex stopped crying, she looked up into Spencer's eyes. Alex was the spitting image and form of Spencer. She was driven, ridiculously smart and she was well on her way of being as sarcastic as her. No matter where you looked in, Alex could always remind you of Spencer. Except for the eyes. Alex's eyes were the ocean blue of Hanna's and Spencer couldn't have been more grateful. Those blue eyes were her greatest weakness and she couldn't refuse something to them.

"Your mother said you were upset. Why?" Spencer asked softly. Alex adverted her eyes and looked down on her lap. She stayed silent for a while.

"Am I fat?" She blurted out and Spencer choked on her own saliva.

"What?"

"One of my friends and I tried to exchange jeans today but hers just wouldn't fit on me and I got terribly upset because I have to use a larger size than any of my friends," Alex declared. Spencer looked at her for a moment, not sure of what to say. She knew she had to say something quick, because if not, Alex was going to drown in that insecurity.

She tried to approach the subject from a more clinical point of view. "Alex, you're 14. You haven't developed entirely yet. You still have to grow more."

"Were you my size when you were my age?" Alex challenged. Spencer sighed, _a Hastings she had to be_.

"No," Spencer simply stated and she could she rejection and hopelessness in her daughter's eyes. "But your mother was."

Alex gave her a curious look. "But she's not fat now and she had me and my sister."

"She's careful with what she eats. And she dieted when she was your age. A lot," Spencer declared and looked down, staying suddenly quiet.

"Did you notice her?" Alex asked with a low voice.

"When?"

"When she was fat. Did you notice her?"

"Yes, of course. I always thought she was pretty," Spencer said almost defensively. And then she smiled sadly. "There was this friend of ours, Alison, who always gave her a hard time about her weight. So much, she even called her 'Hefty Hanna'. I always thought Ali was a jerk every time she threw that kind of remarks at Hanna, but I never really did anything to stop her. I didn't stood up for her. And sometimes I regret it. But others I don't. Because if Ali hadn't being a jerk with your mother, she probably wouldn't be as strong as she is today. I always thought your mother was beautiful, always, I just don't know why it took me so long to act on it. Sometimes, she even thinks it's because she was overweight, but it wasn't because of that. I was just uncharacteristically slow and stupid."

Alex looked at her mother and she knew she was telling the truth. "So, do you think I am fat?" She asked again, but this time she was less serious.

Spencer managed to smile a bit. "No."

"But I still think I am fat."

"You're not. But you're a Hastings and you're not going to be convinced that easily. Talk to your mother, maybe you'll find more answers with her. And while you talk to her, you should apologize to her too. She thinks you trust me more than her."

Alex shrieked in surprise. "I don't! I mean, I trust you both in the same amount. Its just people have always said that I look more like you and therefore I thought you might've understood me better."

Spencer laughed softly. "You know? For a Hastings you damn behave like your mother."

"I also have her eyes," Alex laughed too.

"Stop it, Harry Potter," Spencer sentenced.

* * *

A little while later, Spencer entered her room to find Hanna's bedside lamp on and her waiting patiently on the bed.

Spencer smiled and kneeled in front of her. She kissed Hanna's cheek and then her lips. "What's up, princess?"

"Did you really find me pretty back when Ali was alive?"

Hanna's question threw Spencer out of balance. She stood up from the ground and sat on the bed next to her wife. She took one of her hands into both of hers and looked at her deeply in the eyes.

"I did. And if I could go back and stand up for you and call Ali on her shit, I would. You didn't deserve that."

Hanna had tears in her eyes. "Spence –" and so Hanna wrapped her arms around Spencer's neck and straddled her waist and kissed her deeply.

"I love you, Mrs. Hastings," Spencer said when they pulled apart.

Through her tears, Hanna nodded and smiled goofily. "I love you too."


End file.
